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Pregnant Barbie
Hey, it's Liz! Today someone called me "pregnant Barbie."
Now... I'll admit... I have blonde hair. But that is about the ONLY similarity between me and the not-so-realistically-proportioned fashion doll.
(Barbie's vital statistics have been estimated at 36 inches (chest), 18 inches (waist) and 33 inches (hips). According to research by the University Central Hospital in Finland, she would lack the 17 to 22 percent body fat required for a woman to menstruate.)
OK, so maybe the whole pregnant thing wouldn't happen. Although... the comment did get me thinking.
It wouldn't be so bad to be pregnant Barbie. I mean the girl would probably have some pretty nice maternity clothes... (unlike the rest of us who spend the last half of pregnancy scrounging sales racks for anything big enough to cover our bellies and unbuttoning, rolling down and squeezing into any pair of pants that will fit over our big butts.)
We lose all regard for matching and style.
But Barbie would have an endless supply of perfectly matching cute outfits that fit over her tiny baby bump. And I'm sure her perfect feet and ankles would never swell. (Mine haven't but I hear that happens pretty often to pregnant women.)
She'd probably even continue to wear stilettos while the rest of us preggers girls have retreated into comfy flip-flops or whatever flats we can get away with at work.
I'm sure pregnant Barbie's make-up and skin tone would always look flawless as well seeing as how they are permanent! Her hair would stay styled, her plump smile perfectly in place.... no mood swings there!
I definitely wouldn't mind living in that three-story Barbie dream house. (Didn't she live in Malibu or something? Not a bad neighborhood!) And she even had an elevator! All pregnant woman deserve an elevator.
As for the pink Barbie convertible... I'd trade that for my Jetta any day. (Why do I feel like Barbie would definitely pull a Britney Spears and drive around with her kids on her lap in that thing...?)
Looking back, I guess I should take what that strange man in the 7-Eleven this morning said as mostly a compliment.
Barbie sounds like she'd get through those 40 weeks of pregnancy pretty easily... but she's plastic, so I guess she'd be pregnant forever...
I only have 4 weeks left! So I'll take the real pregnancy anytime.
And the best thing is, it'll only be a few years until my little girl will be collecting tons of Barbie dolls of her own. So much blonde hair and pink to look forward to! Haha ;)
x Liz
So a pregnant Barbie is actually an oxymoron, right?
What a hilarious post, Liz. You and your pregnancy stories...
:-)
Posted by S_Cmagana
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I love this touch of reality.
I have always had a grudge against Barbie... as much as I've always hated the Tabloids with their unrealistic expectations for women.
One article points out the celullite on movie stars' butts, while another in the same issue proclaims that a different star suffers from anorexia.
Does anyone else see the irony?
The real heroines of our time are the regular folks who are doing good work and raising healthy families. Imperfect, and proud of it.
Robin
Posted by rearl
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Haha. I have not been pregnant yet, but if I were, I don't think I'd mind being called a pregnant barbie. Better than being called another pregnant doll, like pregnant tickle-me-elmo, or pregnant cabbage patch kid, right? This post made me laugh several times out loud. Thanks, I was having a crummy day!
Posted by Idler
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